Letting Go of the Guilt: Medication, Motherhood, and Doing What’s Right for You
When I became pregnant, I knew what the right thing was for me: continue the SSRI I’d been taking for years.
I knew my history. I knew the anxiety and insomnia that crept in when I went off of it. I knew the research, the risks of untreated perinatal mood disorders, and the importance of prioritizing maternal mental health. I didn’t make the decision lightly—I made it with clarity and care.
But when I told my OB, she responded:
"That medication is okay… but I’d rather you were on the lowest dose possible instead."
And just like that, I felt a familiar wave of doubt. Was I doing something wrong? Was I being selfish? Did I really need it that badly?
It’s a position too many moms find themselves in—caught between what we know to be true for ourselves and the subtle (or not-so-subtle) messaging that we should somehow be able to power through, go without, or “tough it out” for the sake of the baby.
But here’s what I want every mom to hear:
Choosing to care for your mental health is not selfish. It’s responsible. It’s brave. And sometimes, it includes taking medication.
So many of us carry guilt or shame around using SSRIs or other psychiatric medications during pregnancy or postpartum. There’s a fear that by needing help, we’re already failing. That by taking medication, we’re taking a risk. That we should be able to push through without it.
But the truth is this:
Untreated depression and anxiety can impact everything— from sleep and appetite to your ability to bond with your baby, connect with your partner, and feel safe in your own body and mind.
There is robust evidence supporting the use of SSRIs in many cases during pregnancy—especially when weighed against the very real risks of untreated mental health conditions.
You deserve to feel well. You deserve access to care that supports your whole self, not just your physical health. (If you don’t feel this support, consider meeting with a reproductive psychiatrist or psychiatric NP to address your needs.)
And yet, stigma persists.
Too many moms are told to wait, or to try everything else first. Too many providers default to caution, rather than centering care in the lived reality of the person sitting in front of them. And too many women end up feeling like they have to choose between their own wellbeing and their baby’s—when in fact, they’re deeply connected.
If you're in the thick of that decision right now, know this:
You are not weak for needing help.
You are not selfish for taking medication.
You are not less of a mom because you made a decision based on knowledge, compassion, and care.
Whether you’re on the lowest dose, the full dose, or still figuring out what’s right for you—you deserve to feel supported, not judged.
And if no one else has said it lately: you’re doing what’s best for both of you. That’s what good moms do.
With love,
Katie
