The Thoughts you can’t unthink

She told me the thought in a whisper.

She had just finished describing how deeply in love she was with her new baby—and then she paused, swallowed hard, and said:

“Sometimes I picture myself… hurting him. I would never. But I can’t get it out of my head.”

She looked at me like she was waiting to be judged. Like I might flinch.

But I didn’t.

Because I’ve heard it before.

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Here’s the truth that almost no one says out loud:

So many moms have intrusive thoughts.

Quick flashes. Unwanted mental images. Thoughts of bizarre or even violent scenarios that seem to come out of nowhere.

• Dropping the baby while walking down the stairs

• Banging their head on the wall

• Yelling, snapping, shaking

• Doing something irreversible

They’re not fantasies. They’re not impulses. They feel like nightmares you’re having while wide awake.

The shame that follows is immediate and heavy. You start to question everything:

What kind of mom thinks that? Am I going crazy? Am I unsafe? Should I even be alone with my baby?

But intrusive thoughts on their own are actually incredibly common. They often stem from the intensity of maternal love. From the primal, aching desire to protect your baby. From the mind playing out what if scenarios in its most dramatic form.

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That said—sometimes these thoughts don’t pass.

Sometimes they loop.

Sometimes they come with rituals, like avoiding certain activities, objects, or even your baby altogether.

That’s when we start to look at something more than anxiety. That’s when it might be Postpartum OCD.

Postpartum OCD can look like:

• Repetitive, unwanted, distressing thoughts

• Mental rituals or physical compulsions to “undo” the thought

• Avoidance of caregiving tasks

• Constant self-monitoring or seeking reassurance

And here’s the most important thing: it’s treatable.

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If you’re a mom who’s had one of these thoughts and can’t unthink it—please know:

You are not your thoughts.

You are not broken.

You are not the only one.

Whether it’s a fleeting moment or a sign of something bigger, saying the words out loud to a trusted person can be the beginning of something healing.

With love and deep respect,

Katie Brett, PMHNP

For MyTribe